Archive | Brendan Reed

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ONCE TOUCHING NOW

This video’s about want & need & the feeling during a particularly conscious instant: moments of discovery, rise to protest, personal needing, freeing, forgiveness, longing, or ultimate regret. There’s a microscopic sound painful to hear, seeking to hear, could we ever bear listening, were we even physically able to bear to hear. The video’s about an instant or moment, like a particle, an instant of PTSD, a cloudless explosion, a blast, something zoomed in on, the moment an STD’s shared. The main character of the movie (hand & eye) has been whispering their whole life. 🙁 Then the child becomes a teen – in the video, they reach out for connection. 🙂 When grown – in the video, everybody’s generally failing but in these blinding instants, the subject of the video, sitting in sound, can share feelings of liberation/satisfaction. The moment in the video, as in other promotional materials & products has been drawn out for pleasure’s sake.

No Cars Go

Brendan Reed VA –> RI –> MTL.
nocarsgo.org
b_pray2.jpg
this is a picture of playing the floor tom and praying in the band.

JULY 1

this looks like a blog. i keep waking up from sleeping by the window. everythings rearranged. i fully slowly realize how long this has been going on. i’m shocked by what i see.

i moved here to montreal 6 years ago. times downtown with gregg white wall, french horn, trash shining floor, bed we 1st made of the rotten balcony & the steps from next door & all the nails i had. waiting out, lucky force, a thing of milk, cookie bag & sculpting figures, paper, new movies to try to get back to before. time with edwin, our family and divorce, out of breath morts riding tight, breathing in own black death. fucking foolsgold last acts. now i dunno. a double album? a son? a confession. sorry tatoo. i fuckin dunno. nothing personal. need the dog to come back alive, we want the to come back!!

this is 4 demos in a demo. demonstrating russian doll again. empty mountains. ellicott. GB. outside my window a million roaring fast creeps:

NO CARS GO MARYLAND RECORDED 2007
M

nobody was free from your best friend is now your enemy
was, in a different town
any other week
holding free
all of them believe. always weak.

swollen gland
his house is made of held on hands
the boys made of infinite, cold sand that he keeps in his rib.
all you feel now, feeling like youre always needing
he comes to you, he cant stop bleeding,
but hes not ashamed.

all her friends
punish her like she could end
the same as when the swollen hand
healed you open again in maryland.

what new wreck found out
tha hot road on uphill
kept it home, middle march all erased wholes
nothing feeding
need to fill em up again
pattern of finding, binding, blinding, disciplined,
we fast forwarded vcr to naive section

love brendan
[email protected]

MARCH 1

i used to worry a lot about what kind of tapes to play in my tape player. i was wrong. i worried that maybe by giving my son a hug and holding him and loving him, he would hate me and then i’d live fearing him. i was wrong. i was wrong to speak to you like that. it wasn’t my place. we’re getting the band back together.

NOCARSGO. I KNOW. its weird, & wtf. I KNOW A PLACE. I KNOW. NOCARSGO.ORG is now know as ILOVEYOU.com and a deep whole is a place to finish. you miss your friends from before. i do too. i want only to eat sugar now. because its pure just energy.

this songs has been out in my mind for 5 years. release date: MARCH 7 3007:
its about the people i used to be in a band with and love.

ROSE BEAST RUGGED DREAM ROTTEN SCHEME TOMMY DO YOU FEAR ME (THE REASON YOU CAME OVER WAS BECAUSE) RECORDED 2006
T

i wasnt sure from where it came.
how come you fear some names?
a quest that u want to be on.

some kind of quest:
these hills here

do you really wanna be so mean?
i didnt, see it thru, i came to you
i have a request too:

the reason i came to canada was because

so quick is that hero, prophet you have all the winnings i see.
theres still some blood for me on the bones of the body.
then why do you look so weak?

i love these fuckers.
they are gold.

you sound like a windchime when you talk.

made late night during les angles morts WR sessions, which by the way broke up too, prematurely but we all cut our hands off every day so 2bXpected… which sucked cause we were a good band in the end. and now what? nothing. EXCEPT THIS:

EVERY ANIMNAL XCEPT HUMAN. A VALENTINE YOU MEAN. WIRED, BROTHERLY LOVE & LUST.

FEBRUARY 14

villa villa nola is up and running and so after a longwhile, yeah more. but this is a real old valentines day song.

FIERY FOE ROOM TO GET STRONG RECORDED 2000
R

reach for that icicle, just reach a little higher, when you were 4 you lost your ball
& i found it on the interstate

a red board with white wheels spreads to dreamy rising river.
no hair on your body
your fat tits are still flat skin

i’ll find yr ball from when u were 4 and let you kick it,

i’ll push u down in the deep dark thicket,
i’ll by your bus ticket,
i’ll suck yr dick & lick it

DECEMBER 21

video inside a video forever over and over

AUGUST 10

its not the body pressure
its not the other kids

TRAGIC SHIT QUEST TO CANADA RECORDED AUGUST 2006
Q

JUNE 29
going around all the way out there to the glacial peak & back to a theatre district there at home. & now more all the way & back again. like many young boys i’ve some cooking plans and dreams of take over & glory and i’m not sure thats called for anymore but we – still – want – it. i’m on a sea side & have only a tape with some old songs but want to do something so i’m gonna play it

NOH FORS J AIR RECORDED JANUARY 2000
J

MARCH 10
i was brought to my knees when i peered round the corner and there within was a mound of luscious golden pile of the most pure yeah and also a lot of sweet people in the mood for forever. yes i’m speaking about the only rally of its kind thats ever come to a head on the whole black planet. i saw his hands gripping, i gave him a hug, but fucking tommy still died in front of me & i held his head. & his last words were “i’m gonna be in tha park with my girlfriend, and please forever.” & i was like “stay gold” and he was like “fuck off and die” and i was like “i love you man ” and he was like “dont touche me man “and i was like “go now tom r, fuckin just go” & he hit me in the face with an ore.

NOH CARS GO NORGE IS REAL, AND DVS REAL, YOU’VE GONE & LOST BOTH YOUR HANDS, HOMES WHERE A NOTHING CAN GO, YOU ARE 15, I AM A GHOST NOW, I LOVE YOU, YOU GO RIGHT THRU ME, YOU ARE THE MOST DEAR, YOU’RE A DEAD DEER, YOU’RE FOREVER, BUT YOU NEVER EVER NEVER EVER RECORDED MARCH 2006
N

what is next?
what is left?
who is here?
who wants to…
FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL?
(stadium answers back)
yeah…everybody

MARCH 7
i never knew so much glory could come all in one H, come back DarT, yr completly deeply missed.

there was a sort of rally at the docks today but only one person from the orchestra was there to rep. we two repaired the ropes, washed the dishes, rubbed down the leaves in the greenhouse (with organic jellies and meal) and now we’re sitting back, way fuckin back and it feels…
so good
my most recent work has focused totally on fuck yeah treasure maps and butts and the connections there within. emerald is forever.
hence, the new band.

this is our first song to date, its a loop and goes on
forever

NOH CARS GO FOREVER RECORDED MARCH 2006
F

FEB 3
poor laurie in his wetest dreams who knew such a lame turn for so a g.blythe. pleading by the fence in the woods but fucking nothing he could do ever would make his deer friend care enough even after so many many years. what kind of c.bale? “a mediocre copy of another man’s genius” thats who, is that a good name for a record? i had my fingers removed. echo echo echo echo echo

NOH CARS GO NO VOICE YO RECORDED JAN 2006
NOHCARSGO_NoVoiceYo.mp3

your voice does not exist
now you’re not a man
now your dick is dead your dick is dead

you have a busted set of teeth
yr bloody and have no fingers to reach
for my throat get your hands around my neck
squeeze every moment
of breath

yeah whatever
yeah whatever
yeah whatever
yeah whatever

JAN 31
this is a song about speaking to a roomfull of friends & enemies as you are & do they think you’re very full of shit or not smart or are lame or do they love you forever

NOHCARSGO CLEAN UP PULPIT RECORDED JAN 2006
NOHCARSGO_CleanUpPulpit.mp3

brother all over
never in a million years,
these are not the days
you look lonely, its still bright out

just the middle of the day
some boy talks loud from the pulpit
i listen to him speak but i don’t get the words
after a ceremony of fresh ideas,
i want to recount how i remember his point

but in retelling everybody i mistake every detail he told
and the heavy huge feelings i made a little bit of fun of
“forgive me tho” i said to the close audience,
“i’m a clown, you know, forgive me”

“louder tho, so we can get the feeling,
and sort of understand”
say the people at the table
who are also in the band,
they were all in the band

i try harder to have
quick thoughts
clean up my emotions but
i fail.
then save my face i think in my own way

just to walk a better one, so all the day could make some sense,
i wrote a play that very night and its better than real life
one mistake i make is remembering back like a dumb elephant

JAN 6

NOV 29
whitewavewhitewave site is now linking a lot, added some secret stash

NOV 23
sel keys i think is my favorite song that i’ve made ina long time

NOHCARSGO SEL KEYS RECORDED 2005
S

NOV 20
this’s real weird cause ive put music here what is now a sicks year long goh game. for a while i posted up every single song i made one by one in the room. to get it somewhere else out so i could be near a balcony like say anything or the cave would at least be more huge, with every animal, xcept human. i could fear that no one’ll see these made dresses or like the way theyre made but i’m not going to be afraid. these 3 songs together are meant in particular response to dark thing laurie said

NOHCARSGO REFORM FOREST Recorded 2005
R

Now the Garden is Blown
Feel the Need to Rebuild a Way of Speaking
All the Names, Have to Sound Like
A New Way is Worth Beginning

You’ll Soon Rely On Another,
You Need to Find yr Brother
He is Inside of the Woods

He Needs to be Reformed
He Needs to be Reborn
Yr Brother is a Villian And he
Needs to be Returned

You Alone Remake him
Out of Paper then to Find:
Some Reason that the Love Plan
Wasn’t Free Enough to Mind

I’m not there

NOHCARSGO BLOW A LOT (Every Animal Version) Recorded 2005
B

every animal
we saw in the South
uses broken eyes and 1 mouth
yr/blue songs have a particular sound
like all times caught
and you found it

now if we ever have another
useless words like this again-
i wanna box it up have it duplicated and distribute that shit
all over the world

my empty enemy now we have bleeding breast
you are my best friend yr dick is dead

when i was a child i had a huge flag
now i’m sewing a new flag out of the two flags

it won’t have an anchor on it
it won’t have an apple
it won’t have a loud speaker
it won’t have a red book,
bright flowers, or a complex pattern to bite
it might say sorry one more time

we could have a confederacy
we would secede
make the north bleed
you need my hand to help with this
just touch something yield to a princess

yr dads a hero now
every animals gone now
for yr birthday, for you i guess like a test

yr special necklace – i don’t wanna take it
but i saw it before (many many many many years ago)

now i look out for that pendant
and when the time comes i will defend it

are you my lover?
are you the One?
are we the Ones?
can it be just 1 more time?

you are the wind
but please don’t blow
please be slow
then all at once
blow a lot

UNEDUCATE EVIL FAT BABY (vocal track)
Recorded on 4 Track April 1997
F
A strange choice, I know, to play this song after so long. On Monument Mountain & here now tonight- golden beasts scatterings stuck with me like the night in this song did. that night i remember hearing duane & rick talking downstairs about right then. yr friend yr sorry

fly bird big black bird
cold face these are wings
four sheep three apart
that one knew the truth
that night i was scared
two girls i hid from
i left a secret trail

fat baby, fat baby, fat baby
fat baby, fat baby, fat baby

fly bird
cold face
4 sheep
that 1
that night
2 girls
i left a trail

Fly bird, fly bird, fly bird
cold face, cold face, these are wings
two girls, 2 girls, that i hid from
strong hands hurt
fat baby is sad

fat face, yr hands are warm kid you baby
tell me yeah tell me cuz u know fat hands warm face

baby, fat baby, fat baby
fat baby, fat baby, fat baby

fat hands warm face

fat baby, fat baby, fat baby, fat baby

the fat face warm kid
fat hands warm face

fly bird, fly bird, fly bird

love brendan